1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,675
Man, I had the weirdest dream
about the baby last night.

2
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,260
Oh, was it a boy or a girl?

3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,678
Oh, it was a boy.

4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,679
A goat boy.

5
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,433
Half goat, half boy.

6
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,602
- [laughs] Gross.
- Do you think it means something?

7
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,980
Well, we'd all know
where the goat half came from.

8
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,817
I want a goat boy!

9
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,904
Would everybody please stop
talking about my baby that way?

10
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,782
Remember when I felt him move
and we both thought it was an elbow?

11
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:33,700
Yeah.

12
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,202
What if it was a hoof?

13
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:41,291
- Huh?
- Honey, we are not having a goat boy.

14
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,669
But even if we were, I'd still love
him 'cause he would be ours.

15
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,379
[chuckles softly]

16
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,214
[bleats]

17
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,468
That's not funny.

18
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,720
Okay, thank you so much.

19
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:57,098
So, what are the cool kids
at school wearin' these days?

20
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,850
Usually what I'm wearing.

21
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,727
Well, without the elastic.

22
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,187
Well, I hope this'll do,

23
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,146
'cause your mother

24
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,691
just got called for her first
substitute teaching assignment.

25
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,153
Oh, please say you're not
gonna be at my school.

26
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,822
No, actually I'm at Van and Cheyenne's.

27
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,283
- Oh, then congratulations.
- [Reba] Thanks.

28
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,496
Wait a minute. You're gonna be teaching
at my high school?

29
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,082
I didn't know you were
a teacher. You seem so nice.

30
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,877
That's how I put Brock
through dental school.

31
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,379
I planned to go back
after you kids got a little older.

32
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,590
Mom, do you have any concept

33
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,717
of the embarrassment
this is gonna cause me?

34
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,928
[chuckles] Wait a minute.

35
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,264
You walk around your school pregnant,

36
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,558
and my being there is an embarrassment?

37
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:43,228
Yes.

38
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,979
[laughs hysterically]

39
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:48,983
[theme song playing]

40
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:52,112
{\an8}<i>♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪</i>

41
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,531
{\an8}<i>♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪</i>

42
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:58,868
{\an8}<i>♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪</i>

43
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,579
{\an8}<i>♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪</i>

44
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,957
{\an8}<i>♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪</i>

45
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:08,920
{\an8}<i>♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪</i>

46
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:15,093
<i>♪ I'm a survivor ♪</i>

47
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:27,689
I appreciate you coming in
on such short notice, Mrs. Hart.

48
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:31,317
Isn't it ironic how just a few months ago

49
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,571
{\an8}I was trying to force your daughter out of
our school, and now I need your help.

50
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,738
{\an8}Ain't that a kick?

51
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,284
{\an8}Well, this is your classroom here.

52
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,245
{\an8}Thanks. I'm really excited
to get back to teaching.

53
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,289
{\an8}I've always loved to help kids learn.

54
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,416
{\an8}Oh, don't expect to teach anything.

55
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,961
{\an8}Being a substitute
is just glorified babysitting.

56
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:53,506
{\an8}If you can keep your students from tearing
up the furniture, you've done your job.

57
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,634
{\an8}Well, have a good day.
And don't let anybody get pregnant.

58
00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,762
{\an8}[laughs sarcastically]

59
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,224
{\an8}- [Cheyenne giggles]
- [Mrs. Hodge] Uh-uh.

60
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:07,186
{\an8}- Hey, you guys.
- Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery.

61
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:09,022
{\an8}So do you guys want a boy or a girl?

62
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,482
{\an8}It doesn't matter, as long as it's human.

63
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,277
{\an8}There it goes again. Put your hand here.

64
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,487
{\an8}[gasps] I felt it! It's so weird!

65
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,158
{\an8}All right. This is a school,
not a petting zoo.

66
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,161
{\an8}Why would you say petting zoo?

67
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,205
{\an8}What are you doing here?

68
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:28,541
{\an8}Oh, I'm substituting
today for Mr. Swanson.

69
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,376
{\an8}Hey, me and Eric are in your first period.

70
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,003
{\an8}Eric and I.

71
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,004
{\an8}Oh, God.

72
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,006
{\an8}Hey, look at that!

73
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,676
I already taught you something,
and class hasn't even started yet.

74
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,387
This is so humiliating.

75
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,058
What are you talking about?
Your mom is so great.

76
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,185
Yeah, but did you see those shoes?

77
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,396
[school bell ringing]

78
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,945
[Reba] Good morning, class.

79
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,239
My name is Mrs. Hart.

80
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,409
Drop the paper, turn off the TV,

81
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:04,953
and you in the red hat, sit down.

82
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,913
How'd you do that?

83
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,332
A teacher never reveals her secrets.

84
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,167
I'm gonna figure you out.

85
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,086
Good luck.

86
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,589
Now, it says here you've
been reading <i>Romeo and Juliet.</i>

87
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,926
Our teacher doesn't make us read.
He just let us watch the movie.

88
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,594
Is that right, Chuck?

89
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,720
How'd you know my name?

90
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,014
I told you. I've got special powers.

91
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,558
And it's written on your backpack.

92
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,521
Look, it's been a while since
I've been in the classroom.

93
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,274
But trust me, I know all the tricks.

94
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,526
There's not a trick that's ever been done

95
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,070
that I haven't seen or done myself.

96
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,655
If you want to go out--

97
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,199
[all laughing]

98
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,956
Okay, that's a new one.

99
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,298
Up. Up. Up!

100
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,593
Dad, how come Harry Potter
can do it, but I can't?

101
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,179
I don't know, son.

102
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,098
Wouldn't you rather play with a football

103
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,642
or one of my golf clubs
instead of a broom?

104
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,312
Hey, the teacher's home.

105
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,731
- Hey, Reba.
- What are you doing here?

106
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,233
Well, what are you doing taking
a job without consulting me?

107
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,111
I'm sorry. Aren't we getting a divorce?

108
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,573
I gotta tell you, I don't like the idea

109
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,992
of turning our children
into latchkey kids.

110
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,164
I smell your influence here.

111
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,165
It was "latchkey"

112
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,833
- that gave it away, wasn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

113
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,296
Well, I'm glad that Kyra called me.
This is something we oughta discuss.

114
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,257
Hey, doesn't anyone
wanna ask how my day was?

115
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:44,135
- How was your day, Mom?
- Oh, thank you very much.

116
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:47,722
Well, I started my day off sittin'
in a booby-trapped chair.

117
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:51,225
Then some genius stuffed paper
in the heater, which started a fire.

118
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,603
And then two of my students
in my last class

119
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,605
went to the bathroom, never came back.

120
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,025
Why in the world would you
wanna put yourself through that?

121
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,778
I love it, and it challenges me.

122
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,697
And you know what?
I'd forgotten how good of a teacher I was.

123
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,866
Well, that's great, Reba.
I sure would feel better

124
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,576
if there was someone here with the kids.

125
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:13,664
Oh, Brock, Kyra's more than capable
of watching Jake for an hour and a half.

126
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:16,959
But if it still worries you,
you can close your office early

127
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,252
on the days that I work.

128
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,713
Well, I might just do that.

129
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,382
Except on Tuesdays.

130
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,759
I have golf.

131
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,135
And on Fridays...

132
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:27,804
I have golf.

133
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,640
But call me if you need anything, kids.
You know my schedule.

134
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,727
I thought so.

135
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,271
Eric, heads up.

136
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:40,566
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Mrs. H.

137
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,860
You should hear the good buzz
you got going at school.

138
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:46,322
Oh, you know how I thrive on good buzz.

139
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,199
- Now?
- Yeah.

140
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:52,245
So, everybody, we wanted you
to be the first to know.

141
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,913
Eric and I are getting married!

142
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,581
Oh, my God! You're pregnant?

143
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:56,916
What?

144
00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:00,002
No. We're in love. Just like you and Van.

145
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,003
- [gasps]
- [chuckles]

146
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,505
Are you sure you're not pregnant?

147
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,881
Oh, yeah, we're sure.

148
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,719
We were gonna wait till after graduation,
to get married, but we figured, why not?

149
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,347
Congratulations!

150
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:16,727
Oh, it's gonna be so cool
having another married couple at school.

151
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,563
Yeah. Why don't you just start a club?

152
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,108
Kids, this is crazy.

153
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,068
Have you talked to your
parents about this?

154
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,989
Well, no. We were afraid
they weren't gonna be as cool as you are.

155
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,949
I mean, how did Cheyenne and Van tell you?

156
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,410
My seven-year-old son
found the pregnancy test.

157
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,454
You should've seen how cool I was then.

158
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:39,125
Look, Mom totally freaked at first,
but then she came around.

159
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,420
I am so excited for you guys.

160
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,133
Cheyenne, Van, can I speak
to y'all in the living room?

161
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,050
[Cheyenne] Yeah.

162
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,470
Stay single until I get back.

163
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,099
What are you doin'?

164
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,560
You know it's a bad idea
for those two to get married.

165
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,812
I know. It's crazy.
She's not even pregnant.

166
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,399
So? They're in love.

167
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,735
It's cute that another
couple wants to be like us.

168
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,696
Cute? Bunny slippers are cute.

169
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:12,950
You are married, pregnant teenagers.
You're not supposed to be role models.

170
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:16,621
[scoffs] Can we help it
if people wanna be like us?

171
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,750
Yes! Those two are your friends.

172
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,836
We gotta go in there and show
them how tough marriage really is.

173
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,007
That's gonna be really hard.

174
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:32,053
Guys, you do know that this
isn't for everyone, don't you?

175
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,263
[both] Yeah.

176
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:38,142
All right. Then put on a sad face
and get back in there.

177
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,732
Aww, isn't that sweet.

178
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:45,650
Quit it!

179
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,194
- I'm sorry.
- Have a seat.

180
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:52,323
Cheyenne and Van would like
to talk to you about your decision.

181
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,326
We might make being married look easy.

182
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,536
But you know what?

183
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,371
It isn't.

184
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,999
It really, really... isn't.

185
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:04,877
Well said, Van.

186
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,423
Yeah, and it may be fun a lot of the time,

187
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:12,552
but there are some times that it is...

188
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,428
It is, whoo, it is not fun at all.

189
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,847
Whoo! Not fun at all.

190
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,058
They get it.

191
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,851
I don't think they do.

192
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,981
The chances of a teen marriage
surviving is next to nothing.

193
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,652
The chances of any marriage
making it is less than 50%.

194
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,404
Yeah, look at my mom.

195
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,325
But right now we're talking about them.

196
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,204
But, Mrs. Hart, look at Cheyenne and Van.
They're so happy.

197
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,918
Look, I know their life
looks like love and kisses.

198
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,712
But there's a lot you don't see.

199
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,171
Cheyenne?

200
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,968
Uh, yeah. Like, um, well, like space.

201
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,722
When you're dating, you wanna
be together all the time, but...

202
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:01,684
when you're married,
you really miss time to yourself.

203
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,270
I feel like he's crowding me all the time.

204
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,150
I'm crowding you?

205
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,820
And that's the worst part.
He doesn't even know it.

206
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:17,742
Maybe you feel crowded because you're
looking at the same face every day

207
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,745
and realizing you never
got to shop around and date other people.

208
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,497
Oh, so you wish you'd dated other people?

209
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,125
Yeah. Yeah, I've thought about it,
in between crowding you!

210
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,589
This is the time you're
gonna be going to college.

211
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,843
That's when you meet new people,
go to parties, choose a career.

212
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:40,181
Why would you want to tie yourself down
to a marriage and possibly kids?

213
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,183
Yeah. Why?

214
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,687
If your love is as strong
as you say it is, it'll wait.

215
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,148
Why do you wanna rush into a marriage?

216
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,988
Come on. You can tell me.
Remember? I'm cool.

217
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:02,536
To be honest, we're ready to take
the next step in our relationship.

218
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:03,746
You mean sex?

219
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,122
[both] Yes!

220
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,961
Oh, come on! That's not
a good enough reason.

221
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,381
Marriage is a huge responsibility

222
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:16,550
that you just don't jump into
because of hormones.

223
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,554
Well, now I don't know what we should do.

224
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,808
Yeah, I... I guess we should
talk about it some more.

225
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,893
Now you're bein' smart.

226
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:29,188
If Cheyenne weren't pregnant,
there's no way I'd let her get married.

227
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,440
Thanks, Mrs. Hart.

228
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,692
You're welcome. See ya.

229
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,530
Whew! We dodged a bullet there.

230
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,616
You guys were wonderful.

231
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,495
- Good job.
- Yeah, you, too.

232
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,341
Is there any more milk?

233
00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:58,676
- Nope.
- Great.

234
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,553
I'm sorry.

235
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,931
Maybe you could go to the store
and shop around for some more.

236
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,767
Oh, are you trying
to get me out of the house

237
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,018
so you can have more space?

238
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,437
Oh, stop it.

239
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,440
I just said that to keep Eric and Marissa
from making a huge mistake.

240
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,941
Oh. Like we did?

241
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,445
Yeah. You know, why tie themselves down?

242
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,864
Now Marissa can go to the college

243
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,450
that she wants to,
whether they have a football team or not.

244
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,619
And Eric can accept
a scholarship to Notre Dame,

245
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,538
no matter what their
married housing is like.

246
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,875
And Marissa can spend
her junior year in France

247
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,585
like she's always dreamed of.

248
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,045
- Great. And Van--
- Hmm?

249
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,338
I mean, Eric...

250
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,968
can join a fraternity
and do a lot of really stupid stuff.

251
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,305
If that's how you feel,
why did you marry me?

252
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,557
Excuse me for wanting
to do the right thing.

253
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,392
Maybe it wasn't the right thing.

254
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,602
You didn't have to say yes.

255
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:53,439
I'm sorry. I didn't know
any better. I was young.

256
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,405
"The gentle sin is this."

257
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:05,576
"My lips, two blushing pilgrims,
ready stand

258
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:08,829
to smooth the rough touch
with a gentle kiss."

259
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,833
Now, Chuck, what do you think
Romeo was asking here?

260
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,919
I guess he's telling her
he wants to kiss her.

261
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,338
But I don't know what
pilgrims have to do with it.

262
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,302
It's just more of a poetic way of asking.

263
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,388
Ms. Hart,
poetry might have worked back then,

264
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,432
but today a dude needs a car.

265
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,395
Actually, that's not true.

266
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:35,648
Try a little poetry
and a nice pair of tights,

267
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,192
and you won't believe
the attention you'll get.

268
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,154
Excuse me. Mrs. Hart,
I need to speak with you.

269
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,948
- Now?
- Now.

270
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:45,950
[all] Ooh!

271
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,244
All right. Continue your reading.

272
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,539
And remember, I can see through walls.

273
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,752
What's going on?

274
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,588
Juliet's about to take
her dirt nap, as Chuck would say.

275
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,551
Your services are no longer required.

276
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,845
- We're hiring another substitute.
- Why?

277
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,182
Marissa Devin's mother just phoned me.

278
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,393
She told me that she
walked in on her daughter

279
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,104
about to have sex with Eric Rovner.

280
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,439
[Chuck] Oh, man! So close.

281
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,525
Quiet, hooligans!

282
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:25,906
Imagine Mrs. Devin's surprise
to find out that it was all your idea.

283
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:26,824
What?

284
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,493
You didn't counsel them to have sex?

285
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:33,414
No, I told them they didn't have
to get married just to have sex.

286
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,249
Oh, that didn't sound right.

287
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,795
See, they wanted to get married,
so they could be like Van and Cheyenne.

288
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:41,964
That sounded worse.

289
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,926
But I made it clear
that teenagers should not get married.

290
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:49,430
- They should have sex instead.
- No. I would have never said that.

291
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:53,517
- They misunderstood me.
- Mrs. Hart, it is bad enough

292
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:58,063
that you allow your daughter
to go around flaunting her big mistake.

293
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:02,568
But it is not okay for you to suggest
that others follow in her footsteps.

294
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,904
They came to me asking for advice.

295
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,530
What was I supposed to say?

296
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:13,621
The policy of this school
is that sex doesn't exist.

297
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,919
How's that working for you?

298
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,841
I'm sorry. I've made my decision.

299
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:30,304
So I'm losing my job
because two kids almost had sex?

300
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:34,141
You're being replaced because
you put the idea in their heads.

301
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:39,229
To have sex?
It's in every teenager's head in America!

302
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,814
And most of them don't even know me.

303
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,652
Teachers have to be role models.

304
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,780
They can't go around promoting
this type of behavior.

305
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,240
I'm not promoting anything.

306
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,868
By allowing married teenagers to live

307
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,080
and have sex in your house, you are.

308
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,550
Oh, good. Reba.

309
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,136
I'm glad you're here. You know...

310
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,932
I've been doing
a lot of thinking about this job thing.

311
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,893
I overreacted. I support
you going back to work.

312
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,145
- And whatever I can do to help--
- I got fired.

313
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,647
Ah, well.

314
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,151
How did my life get so twisted around?

315
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,070
One day everything's goin' just fine,

316
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:32,741
and the next day I'm a poster mom
for teen marriage and teen sex.

317
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,785
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened?

318
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,579
I gave some advice,
and it was misunderstood.

319
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,541
Two of Cheyenne's friends
want to get married

320
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,876
because Van and Cheyenne
make it look so fun.

321
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,839
That's ridiculous.
Everybody knows marriage isn't fun.

322
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,053
Have I made it too easy
for Van and Cheyenne?

323
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,931
I mean, let's face it.
They got it pretty darn good.

324
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,392
I gave them a nice wedding.

325
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:02,062
They have food on the table,
warm beds to sleep in...

326
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,147
together.

327
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,985
I can see where it would look
appealing to a lot of kids.

328
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,404
What were you supposed to do?
Throw 'em out in the street?

329
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,740
His folks did. You wanted to.

330
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,743
No, I said send her away.

331
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:21,331
Look, every family
has to make their own decision.

332
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,250
There's no one right answer.

333
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,377
Now, you did what you thought was best.

334
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,921
And you know what?
It was a brave decision.

335
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:32,676
You took them in, and you've let them
live as normal a life as possible.

336
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:37,139
Well, at least they're
gonna finish high school.

337
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,932
Even if I'm not.

338
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,852
You are there for them every day,

339
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,897
and I don't know
that I've ever thanked you for that.

340
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:47,524
No, you haven't.

341
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,403
Go ahead.

342
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:54,782
Thank you.

343
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:56,867
You're welcome.

344
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,579
I never meant to be a role model.

345
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:04,708
Hey, you know what?
I think you're a pretty darn good one.

346
00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,883
Hey, it's a work day.
Shouldn't you be playin' golf?

347
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,886
Well, I thought it was more important
to come over here and talk to you.

348
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,139
And it's ladies' day at the club.

349
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,150
Whatcha doin' out here?

350
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,780
Mom, if you knew Van and I
weren't gonna make it,

351
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,449
why would you let us
get married in the first place?

352
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,828
Would you have listened to me?

353
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,372
- Don't I always?
- Huh.

354
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,959
Well, the condom speech
certainly didn't take.

355
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,798
All right. We probably
would have eloped anyway.

356
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,135
And I'd be living in a trailer somewhere,
barefoot and pregnant.

357
00:18:56,135 --> 00:19:00,681
[laughs] Oh, honey, it wouldn't
have been that bad.

358
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,517
We both know you'd have found
a way to buy shoes.

359
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,982
Cheyenne, we all know that the odds
aren't great for you and Van.

360
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,025
But I never said you can't make it.

361
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,156
You know what?
I thought if we loved each other enough,

362
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,908
everything else would take care of itself.

363
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,828
Well, the good news is,

364
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,746
you have a better chance of making it

365
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,666
as long as you understand
how hard it is going in.

366
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,796
Hey.

367
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,382
Got milk.

368
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,345
- Do you wanna marry me?
- Huh?

369
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,431
You heard me.

370
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,226
Knowing what we know now,
would you still marry me?

371
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,353
Would you still marry me?

372
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,355
Yeah.

373
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,153
Do you, Van, take me to be your wife,

374
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,656
even if you didn't get
a chance to shop around?

375
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,453
I do. And do you, Cheyenne, take me,

376
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,789
even though I'm taking away
your privacy and you can't go to France?

377
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,084
I do.

378
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,421
And do you take me,
even if I give birth to the goat boy?

379
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,217
[bleats] Ye-e-eah.

380
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,974
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

381
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:27,935
[giggles]

382
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,855
[Cheyenne chuckles] Oh.

383
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,869
[Reba] If you have any more questions
about sex, you come to me.

384
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,996
No, Mom. I think you covered everything.

385
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:50,916
[Reba] Next!

386
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,759
[closing theme music playing]